Funny how the mind works isn’t it? Ask me what I did two days ago or where I left the very important piece of paper I had in my hand an hour ago and chances are you’ll receive not much more than a blank look in reply. Usually quickly followed by panic and an irritation of ‘oh-no-not-again’ type of expression. My short term memory has deteriorated shockingly yet when I clicked onto Google and saw the decorative logo telling me it was St George’s day my first thought was of David Larner.
Who, you may ask, was David Larner and what does he have to do with St George? Well, he was the first boy I ever kissed and his birthday was/is April 23rd: St George’s day. 38 years ago we went to see Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josey Wales; a film which, to this day,I have never actually ever seen through to the end. The cinema is no longer a cinema; in fact it was a religious meeting place last time I went back to the town and I can even remember what I was wearing ( believe me I wish I didn’t! My only defense is that it was 1976 and french cut, high waist trousers were THE thing. I was also much thinner back then!). I really truly liked this boy; he had gorgeous blue eyes and the kind of generous nose I’ve always found attractive since. He made me literally weak at the knees and I’m pretty sure he liked me too yet just weeks later I behaved with the appalling cruelty of inexperience and youth and walked away from him, blinded by the invitation of an older male who had not only a job but also a car. True, I did eventually marry that male; I also divorced him years later. Isn’t it ironic I’d spent years waiting for my first romantic encounter then received four invitations all at once and being typically greedy imagined the grass really was greener on the other side of the fence. Well, romantic relationships have come and gone and are now of no importance to me, yet every so often David’s name will pop into my head.
It is, of course, the rose tinted spectacles of what might have been. Chances are we wouldn’t have lasted long as a couple but the problem with not knowing for sure is…the not knowing for sure! As a race we torment ourselves with might have beens and what ifs and, I have to be honest, good old fashioned curiosity. I’ve noticed people (myself included at times) have a tendency to imagine others do not exist unless they are making an appearance in our own lives. Like actors who spend time away from television or cinema we imagine in our self-centered way they are struggling when in fact, they are happily working away in alternative projects and getting on with their own lives too.
I do not know what became of Mr Larner nor do I have any desire to track him down(what an awful phrase!) but, if he’s out there anywhere I would like to wish him a very Happy Birthday and tell him he’s still the best kisser I ever experienced!
Happy Birthday David xxx